thoughts for un/attached women
Sunday, October 30th, 2005one guy said to me.. how come i dont have a boyfriend? busy or choosy? and i replied.. better to have no one than to have the wrong one. may sound bitchy at that instance? and at one point come off totally wrong.. but what i really meant by that is im more cautious now..
here is a message i sent to a couple of friends a few months back when the author of "he’s not that into you" (which actually became an episode on Sex and the CIty) was a guest on oprah. Case #1: beautiful woman, successfull career, highly educated, good family background. and you would think she has it all being in a 5 year seemingly perfect relationship.. However, the guy was demanding too much from her and still would not commit- he asked her to change jobs, change the way she looks and so on. in short, the guy kept making excuses. But the girl was still holding on, hoping her man would change and believing that she would never find another quality guy like him. Maybe if he doesnt satisfy HER needs, she shouldnt be in that relationship.
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
· Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
· Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
· Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
i wouldnt justify the recent turn of events these past few weeks… as long as the guy was honest and sincere enough, it would have made a world of difference for me.
Slower is better.
· Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
· If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t "be friends". A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
· Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
· Don’t stay because you think "it will get better." You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
You cannot change a man’s behaviour. Change comes from within. So, NEVER get involved with a guy with a girlfriend. The thing is if he cheated with you, he WILL cheat on you… same banana. if he cannot be honest from day one, it’s time to move on.
All men are NOT dogs.. how many times did i hear the phrase ALL MEN ARE DOGS over dinner last saturday? maybe 4… oh dont get us wrong, these were just rants from girls who have been burned by previous relationships.. and i cant blame them for saying so.. we are not mere objects.. if men think we’re just ditzy, brainless individuals who cant seem to get a clue, think again! it’s not right to call at
1 am
in the morning, expecting us to be at your beck and call.. booty call? What?!? when he doesnt live up to his promise, when he cannot honor his committments to you; at least inform you in advance that he cant make it instead of you waiting for hours for him to send you a message.
When a man always knows where you are, and that you’re always available, he will take you for granted.
Women should be treated with more respect which leads me to my next point.. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. If you allow him to act immaturely, your "pet dog" will get so used to it that he will abuse and use the power he has over you. at eto naman tayo, we allow our "pet dog" to keep us on a leash. baligtad ata!
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you… a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals… look for someone complimentary… not supplementary. again, if he is not ready to be in a committed relationship, then dont force the issue. let him be.. maybe when he’s ready, you have moved on already.
im not saying i have all the answers now. some of these rules i forget myself.. and i end up justifying my actions. heck, im even more confused. but in the meantime, il post this on my desk so that i will be reminded… so that i will not forget.
