random thoughts

Dear Kenneth,

I remember the day I met you..  It was November 21, 2005. That was my 1^st day in ward 9, the Pediatrics ward of PGH. You were in Bed 22 then.  I was supposed to do a medical interview but your mom was super makuwento and she was telling me how nice the previous SICs (student-in-charge) were. She was happy because I knew your pediatricians from Manila Doctors because they were family friends of ours.  Your mom said your dad was a retired employee of San Miguel and you were the 3rd of 5 kids. Your family was doing ok up until the doctors diagnosed you with Acute Myelogenous Leukemia.

Sorry I had to extract blood from you almost everyday. Pumutok na lahat ng ugat mo and hindi na kita malinyahan coz you’ve been in the ward since August. But still, you were nice to me, and didn’t act bratty unlike the other kids. Tinuturo mo pa sakin kung saan kita puedeng kunan ng dugo. You were having low grade fever almost every other day. Parang alam ko na kelan ka lalagnatin. Kaya nga nagsumbong yung mom mo sa akin nung hindi ka namonitor ng intern dahil akala niya natulog lang kayo.. Bilib din ako sa mommy  mo because she took your temperature at night and I never saw her na bugnotin or nagreklamo even if she was on perpetual duty, parating gising. I remember you were excited with the new bedsheets with the nice print that somebody gave as a gift for the patients. I remember when my blockmate had fever and a viral exanthem, we couldn’t go to the pharmacy at the time and I went to your bed and asked your mom if we could replace it. She gave me 4 Paracetamol tablets.. “Maliit na regalo para sa aking paboritong doktora”

Everyday I would be greeted in Ward 9 with “Good morning Dra. Monica!” I would always have P.F. (professional fee) consisting of cookies and Happy salted peanuts.  And I remember how your mom used to pair me up with my co-clerk and your former SIC, Zed kasi crush niya si Zed kasi daw gwapo. But a week later you were teasing me to this really tall intern who was rotating in Hema-Onco also and tinatanong mo pa ako kung nanliligaw siya. “Yes, Kenneth.”. and you were always teasing me about it.

I remember your 16^th birthday party in December. Your ate cooked pancit, prepared pineapple juice, and Goldilocks Mocha Chiffon Cake and I brought you a miniature Coffee Cake.  You said “ang sarap kc malamig yung cake.” I was there with my pedia resident, your basketball teammates, and of course your entire family and we ate till 7 pm.  Instead of receiving birthday presents, you asked me before if I could give you extra toy cars and trucks, not for yourself, but for your 2 younger brothers.

It was on December 16 when I got you on a wheelchair, wheeled you out of the ward, and took you to Only The PHInest, the annual Christmas variety show for the patients of PGH. You mom was ecstatic and super kilig when I introduced you to Onemig Bondoc and she proceeded to kiss John Prats on the cheeks. We had our picture taken pa with the Ginebra PBA players.  Small gift ko yun for you… I think your mom was more happy than you at that time because she was so starstruck and puro picture taking with artistas. She sent me our pictures afterwards, both of which are still on my desk. Binobola pa ko parati ng mom mo feeling ko.. kc gandang ganda siya saken. Hahaha!

On December 24, your mom texted me because you were going to be transferred to the Cancer Institute in January. I was already rotating in Surgery then and Gio and I went to visit you.. Sabi mo pa dalhan kita ng pagkain! in your text messages for me. Kaya we brought you GoNuts Donuts. This time you texted me “Kamusta na po kayo at yung matangkad niyong manliligaw po?” Ang funny mo talaga! Your mom even told Gio “Alagaan mo si Dra. Monica ha. Kasi ang bait bait niyan at maganda pa.” Actually nahihiya nga ko sa inyo eh,

In February, you texted me ”Doktora Moneka, si Kenneth Samson po ito. Andito po ako sa ER ngayon. Naaalala niyo po si Lawrence, yung katabi kong kama dati? Yung kasinglaki ko? Namatay po siya kahapon. Natatakot po ako Doktora.” I didn’t know what to tell you because I knew both of you had leukemia. And do you remember what I told you? “Lakasan mo ang loob mo Kenneth. Think positive. At parati kang magdadasal at magtiwala sa Diyos.” You thanked me and every so often updated me whenever you would be in ward 9.

I would run into Mommy every so often in PGH and I would be greeted with the usual “Hi Doktora!” and she would update me how your chemotherapy is going. Your other SIC, Nimrod, shaved his head and nagpapicture pa with you para kalbo kayo pareho.. Idol mo nga daw kami di ba? Hehehe.

Kenneth, I saw how you try to make your siblings happy and appreciate when they watch over you during the day. I knew your body was getting weak but your spirit is strong.  Im sorry I haven’t seen you in 2 months. I don’t know if you were ready to meet with God. Maybe. I fear a lot of things because I know I am still young and at the same time I know I am vulnerable.

Nimrod texted me a few hours ago and he said “Monica, nabalitaan mo n b nagyari kay keneth? Namatay n sya yesterday.”  This afternoon I saw our picture on my nearly empty desk. I was wearing my black scrubs with the pink ballerina prints and you were holding your toys. We were smiling and sitting on your bed. I will always remember that day. I will always remember you as my smiling patient. Thank you for affirming my responsibility as a future doctor, for making me feel more human, and for making me realize the importance of not taking things for granted.

From, Dra. Monica

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 18th, 2006 at 3:41 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.